Jim Sexton has spent more than 25 years watching more than 1,000 couples who once loved each other divide their families, fortunes and futures – but the experiences that shaped him most happened long before he entered a courtroom. One of America’s most successful divorce lawyers opens up about growing up with an alcoholic father, nearly losing his mother throughout childhood, confronting fear, dealing with anticipatory grief, being overweight, rebuilding his body, and learning how extraordinary communication can transform relationships, negotiations and careers.

James “Jim” Sexton is one of America’s most prominent divorce lawyers, a bestselling author and one of the internet’s most widely watched voices on love, marriage and why relationships fall apart.

But before exploring the courtroom lessons that made him famous, Randall Kaplan takes Jim back to the experiences that created the man behind the reputation and incredible success.

The conversation also explores Jim’s struggle with weight, isolation and bullying. After reaching college, he made the decision to change his physical condition one difficult step at a time—eventually becoming a marathon runner, weightlifter and longtime Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu practitioner.

Jim then recounts his time as a hospice volunteer, including sitting with people who had no family present during their final hours and reading them stories.  He shares why he would read Winnie-the-Pooh aloud to dying patients and how those experiences taught him to keep death in his peripheral vision without allowing it to diminish his appreciation for life.

He also reveals the practice he developed of telling the people he loves how he feels before every goodbye. For Jim, it is not enough to tell someone that you love them. He believes they should also know that you fully recognize and feel their love for you.

Timestamps:

00:00 — Why a lawyer who has watched 1,000 marriages collapse still believes in love

01:44 — The chaotic childhood that trained Jim to read people instantly08:15 — What happens when a child is repeatedly told his mother may die

14:05 — The moment Jim decided he could no longer remain the “fat kid”

20:00 — Why he volunteered to sit beside strangers as they died

24:57 — The two things Jim wants everyone he loves to know before he dies

29:43 — The letter to his late mother that uncovered a lifelong emotional wound

37:30 — Why Jim kept a tarantula beside his bed for more than 20 years

40:45 — When fear creates success—and when it begins destroying it

50:40 — The unglamorous job experience Jim requires from potential employees

57:31 — The communication skill that separates Jim from other elite lawyers

1:03:00 — Why authenticity matters more than sounding impressive

1:04:40 — What Jim learned from FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss

1:07:00 — The storytelling secret behind Jim’s extraordinary audience retention

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About Randall Kaplan

Randall Kaplan is a serial entrepreneur, investor, professional coach, and the host of In Search of Excellence. He is the co-founder of Akamai Technologies, a global leader in cloud services and cybersecurity, and was an early investor in Google.

Over the last 25+ years, Randall has advised more than 50 companies, invested in nearly 100 companies, and worked with founders, CEOs, executives, and business owners to help them reach higher levels of success. Through his Extreme Preparation™ methodology, Randall teaches high performers how to prepare better, think bigger, build stronger relationships, and execute at the highest level.

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